My Distorted Self-Image

I've had Eating Disorders since I was twelve.
I started with bulimia then it went to anorexia.
An I still have ED's to this day.
I have a distorted self-image.
I'll I see when I look in the mirror is a fat cow, Looking back at me.
And can you guess who that "Fat Cow" is?
It's me, Of course.
I see huge legs, Huge arms, big fat huge belly and a chubbie face.
I don't want to see that anymore.
I just want to be thin.
I see people eat and intake all that fat and all those calorie.Is that what people really won't is to look like a fat bastard?
How can they eat and eat?
Your suppose to eat to live NOT live to eat!That is so disgusting!
Food is the DEVIL! It'll only bring you one step closer to looking like Fat Bastard.People who stuff thier face uncontrolable and eat whatever they want make me sick!
Bones define who we really are, let them show!
Don't hide yourself underneath all that fat,Because it's gross!I am uncomfortable with the way I look I can't not wear a big baggy hoodie for one day,
Because I am afaid someone will see my big belly gut and huge arms.
This is the 2end of December and I've lost 11 pounds this month.So now I am down to 135, But on Christmas day I will be 120.
Hopefully I will weigh less though.
And if your a fat cow you will never be loved or have anybody to share your life with.
No one wants a fat ass!!
I work out everyday all day, I lock myself in my room and go at it.
I have to to fourhundred situps,fourhundred jumping jacks and ride the exercising bike for two hours or more.
And what ever other exercises that burn all this fat and calories..
I was happy when I was 16 and 100 lbs.
But being thinnier then 100 lbs would make me happier!
I DON"T won't this big gut I have or theses huge legs,thighs,arms and chubbie face..
Every time I see a girl I compare myself to her!